Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
