i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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