I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
