I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
