Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
