The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
