All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
you guys were way drunker than both of me
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
