Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
