I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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