Cold hands, warm shart.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Randomize
