He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
