the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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