she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
