Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Randomize
