Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
