I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
