the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
