My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
birth control should be required to get into college
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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