Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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