I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
what is it with giant penises always finding me
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
