You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
