Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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