can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
