Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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