He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
We're too hungover to prance.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
