dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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