just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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