Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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