I didn't shave. On purpose
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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