In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
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