check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
