im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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