I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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