No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
