Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
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