Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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