So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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