The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
