I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
