Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
