So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Randomize
