p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
