Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
