How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
