my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
