Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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