The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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