i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
