i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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