I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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