I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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