At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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